Unsure..
Mood:  down
Topic: Pregnancy
The cramping has eased up a bit (it's only every now and then as opposed to continuously) and the bleeding has slowed to a trickle. No more clots just a concoction of pinkish/brown discharge when I wipe. Part of me wants to call my midwife and see if I can get a U/S to know for sure what's going on b/c this waiting is intolerable. I just don't know what to do :-(.

Mood:  down
Topic: Pregnancy
I woke up this morning around 4am with some brown discharge and then at about 5:30 I started passing clots. I called my midwife and she ordered some blood work and told me to call if the bleeding or cramps get worse but there isn't much they can do. It will either stop and everything will be fine or I will miscarry. I'm pretty much convinced this pregnancy is over, it's easier for me to deal with that way. I'm sad and I really wanted this baby more then anything but from the medical stand point I understand why these sort-of things happen and that I'm not alone. I have a beautiful 7 year old boy who needs me and someday we will have our baby, just now isn't the time I guess. DF is taking it much harder. He cried and blamed himself and now he's in denial which is making it a bit harder. He wanted to stay home but there isn't much he can do and if he's at work at least his mind will be occupied. I have to go and get my blood work done if I can get up the strength. I'm extremely tired from waking up through the night and have been up since 4am. But the test is important in case I need the Rhogam shot so I have to do it. I'll update later when I know more.

10 Weeks!
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Silence
Topic: Pregnancy
So we're 10 weeks today :-)! Baby is almost the size of a kumquat. Yes I had to look it up :-P! I've been feeling a bit better but I'm still not eating very much. I'm down another 2lbs for a total of 10lbs since I found out I am pregnant. I hoping it will start catching up soon. I have my next midwife appointment on 10/28 and we should get to hear the heartbeat. I told Collin he could be a bit late to school that day so he can hear it too. I want to keep him as involved as possible but I think he's more excited about missing school then hearing the heart beat *lol*! Rich is also coming to the appointment so it's going to be a full house! Anyhow, that's all that's new and exciting.

Beyond exhausted...
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Silence
Topic: Pregnancy
I have never been so tired in all my life after 8 hours of sleep! I was so afraid I may fall asleep behind the wheel earlier I had to come home and take a 15 minute rest and grab a bite to eat before I did anymore running about. And the morning sickness really kicked in this morning on the way to my exercise class. I nearly got sick in my car it was awful! I just want to sleep for a week please!

My 1st appointment!
Mood:  chatty
Topic: Pregnancy
I had my first appointment today at my new OB/Midwife office and let me tell you so far I ADORE them! The practice is very pro-woman and natural birth oriented. She said so long as I remain healthy they will allow me to go over my EDD and they don't push the drugs. They also are very pro-breastfeeding which makes things much easier. She was also very understanding and informative about my declining some of the testing (CF, Triple Screen and possibly the GD). I'm overjoyed. She also loaded me with info on my chosen hospital and all this stuff about prenatals and healthy eating. Maybe I'll get around to reading some of it with Rich tonight. I go back at 12 weeks for my physical and to hear the heartbeat *yippie*! So far everything is working out wonderfully!

Don't treat me like an invalid!!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Silence
Topic: Pregnancy
I'm pregnant not diseased! *lol* It started with MiL: "Ohh let me get that." "Here walk up this way I don't want you to trip." "Are you sure you can get that?" and so-on and so-forth and now DF is doing it! Yesterday we were cleaning and he wouldn't let me carry anything b/c he "didn't want to hurt the baby." WTF! It pisses me off b/c I have always been a VERY independent person. Me carrying a 20lb box of clothes isn't going to hurt the baby. I guess it is kind-of sweet though but annoying all in the same breath!

Week 6!
Mood:  lazy
Topic: Pregnancy

I just entered week 6 today! Yippie!
So far everything is as well as can be expected. I've been VERY tired but then again I haven't been sleeping to well. The nausea has been on and off and my BB's are still killing me. Everyone seems to be convinced it will be a girl but to be honest I think boy. Rich is on the verge of changing his mind about finding out the sex. Before he wanted it to be a surprise until delivery but now he's thinking maybe we should find out. I don't really care either way but I do think it would be nice to have that surprise in the delivery room, then again it would be nice to be all prepared. *lol* That's why I am leaving it up to him.

Not feeling so hot
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Silence
Topic: Pregnancy
Last night we went to the NIN concert (not my first choice or my 15th for a concert but Rich really wanted to go). I feel like utter shat today. The amount of smoke I inhaled at the non smoking venue was atrocious. I never realized how obnoxious smokers are until I quit. Just b/c you don't care about the quality of the air you breath doesn't mean I don't! I'm sure if I farted in your face you wouldn't enjoy /rant. I'm really congested and my throat hurts so I'm just taking it easy today. Collin is over at MiL's and she is going to drop him off in a bit. Rich is with Jonathan so I have the house to myself. I should be studying but I'm so out of it I can't focus. I may just snuggle up with a cup of tea and my religion book and try and get some reading in. So, that's about it I suppose.

Another Doctors appointment
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Rascal Flatts - "Feels Like Today"
Topic: Pregnancy
For the past 2 weeks I have been having HORRIBLE asthma attacks (fall allergies) and I have been concerned about whether to use my Advair or not. The pharmacist said if the need out weights the risk then to do so but it could cause damage to the baby. So I haven't been using it but I have been using my albuterol between 5-6 times a day (which is safe) but I just want to have my doctor confirm my pregnancy and advise me on what to do for my asthma. It's not something that can wait until my appointment on the 28th so I'm going in on Monday. I may get a blood test to have my levels checked to just to be on the safe side.

Relatively uneventful day
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Silence!
Topic: Pregnancy
Not much new today. Rich is disappointed that my doctors appointment isn't until the 28th but considering they don't take newly pregnant patients until they are at least 6 weeks that was the soonest they could get me in. He is going to try to come. I hope we get to hear the heartbeat! According to my pregnancy calendar we should be able to hear it by the 13th, I just hope the nurse practitioner lets us listen! How exciting! That's about it, I am going back to knitting diaper covers!